Escape From Monkey Island

Liked the other Monkey games? Stay away. on August 11, 2008

The Curse of Monkey Island (AKA Monkey Island 3) was one of my all-time favorite games. It was deep, well-written, mentally challenging, and above all, hilarious. It was unquestionably THE funniest game ever, even more than the previous installments.

So, naturally, I was excited as all hell when a new game was announced. Sadly, I was disappointed as soon as I saw the box art. What was wrong with Monkey 3's art style? I'll tell you: it wasn't wacky enough. Monkey 4 was headed by the same guys who worked on Sam and Max, a game that I didn't like because it tried too hard to be surreal and 'random'. That's the problem with this game: it tries too hard. The (somewhat) historically correct 15th century Carribean setting of the earlier games went through a total makeover and came out looking (surprise!) more like Sam and Max. The basic location was the same, with Melee Island and Monkey Island both accessible, but now the game ignored its historical aspect and just piled on the anachronisms. There's microbreweries, time-shares, coin-operated rides, sushi bars; it just doesn't end. I know the original Monkey Island games had some odd things like this too, but those were funny because they yielded to the setting and asked "What would this be like if it happened in pirate times?" (take Blondebeard's Chicken, for example). Here, though, the anachronisms are the center of the game's humor, and it gets old very fast when you're always forgetting that the game supposedly takes place hundreds of years ago.

I haven't even mentioned the worst single part about the game yet: Monkey Kombat (get it?). It's a combat system that appears late in the game, similar to the insult sword fighting of the earlier titles. The difference is that insult sword fighting was funny and held your interest. Monkey Kombat is boring, bland, repetitive, and stupidly difficult to learn, but you're required to learn it to complete the game. At this point, I just gave up. It wasn't worth it.

The saddest thing about this whole mess is that Monkey 4 (or, as I like to call it, "that $&!% adventure game") was the last Lucas Arts adventure game. That's right, the last ever. That's like if the last game Nintendo ever released was Donkey Kong: Barrel Blast. That would suck, almost as much as this game sucks. If you ever see this piece of carp at a yard sale or something for dirt cheap, please buy it and set it on fire in your driveway (you might want to check local laws first). The world will be a better place.